Magick, Twin Flames, and Why You Probably Aren’t Going to Win the Lottery with Your Wand

One thing for sure.  If you want a Harry Potter magickal experience you’re going to need a heck of a lot of power.  At least you will in this Universe.  We appear to live in a Universe governed by probabilities. The magick that is reality also appears to be rather non-linear.  As in, how you think things should happen in your life is almost certainly wrong.

Can you change your pencil into a train set with the wave of a magick wand?  Maybe, the odds though are rather slim.  In a probabilistic Universe our magickal workings are all about influencing the odds of some event happening. You need a pretty big shift in odds if you are starting at 1 in 1,000,000,000,000,000,000.

Because shifting odds with magick takes energy you need a bunch of energy the longer the odds. Which is why in my practice I am taking the advice Gordon White over at Rune Soup and breaking my big goals down into small steps.  Each little goal is much easier to have influence than one massive goal.  Speaking of Gordon White, while you are listening to his podcast check out his book Chaos Protocols.  Great book on navigating life in our times with magick.

Another way to work with probabilities is to let go of control.  The odds of a successful magickal working may be much higher than you realize.  Assuming you do not insist on results showing up the way you think they should.

As an example, this is how I met my wife. For a number of years I had been searching for a type of connection I knew was out there somewhere. This really kicked in after a spontaneous energy initiation in 2001. One of those blow your circuits things that happened when I was alone in nature.

After the divorce from my first wife I started experiencing relationships which kept pointing in this energetic direction.  They just were not working out.  My intuition was at times screaming at me to not be involved with the woman in my life. Very confusing times. The odds seemed pretty low that I would ever meet my her.

One day I was standing in the shower and I did a small ritual. One of the keys to this ritual was I consciously dropped my criteria for a partner.  I asked for my partner, full stop.

She contacted me 2 and 1/2 days later.  A very significant time period by the way. One I have seen repeated in other work I have done as well as works of some of my colleagues.

As an aside: I had an on-line profile on a dating service which is where she found me.  A day later and it would have been deleted. I was seriously tired of dealing with dating.  I had created the profile as a possible route to find “her.”

After we met, we both experienced at least a few years of chaos due to living with the most intense energetic connection we could have imagined. Those familiar with the idea of soul mates will recognize the term Twin Flame. The heat of the Twin Flame connection is pretty good at incinerating non-productive ego patterns.

We survived though and are thriving.  Our connection on every level is intense. Without the personal growth work we had both done prior and continue to do we likely would have self-destructed.  Life can get pretty confusing when you can sense just about everything about your partner whether they are with you or 100 miles away.

One of the keys to why we were able to get together was in dropping my expectations she be a certain way. After letting go of control and trusting the process the magick, spirits, universe delivered my partner. I am quite sure whoever or whatever is in charge of these things was trying pretty hard to get me to wake up.  There were various obvious signs such as three months before we met I had met her in a dream where she had given me her name.

As you develop your magickal practice I am sure you will notice the same effect. Success is a progression where small successes lead us to larger ones. Eventually we arrive at our goal having followed a path we couldn’t have anticipated. Possibly, we find at the end of our work an even better result than we could have imagined.

Meditation for Twin Flame Telepathic Heart Connections

Not long ago, in the middle of the night, I wanted to feel her closer to me.  Yeah, she was a couple feet away in our bed. Still, sometimes you just can’t get enough snuggling!

There is an energy meditation I like use to invite her to me in situations like this one. When I do she usually rolls over so we can snuggle some more. Being able to call to each other at a heart level in itself feels good let alone the physical closeness we share when she responds.

Why don’t I just roll over myself? I respect her need for sleep. Her health and happiness are a priority for me. Sleep is top priority for maintaining both.

This time something new and wonderful happened. When I made my heart invitation to her that night she placed her hand over my heart to flow energy for a few minutes.

Pure bliss! The warm glow of her energy reassured whatever wanted her closer that everything was fine. Just recalling the moment brings back the peaceful feeling of being cared for so deeply.

The technique for inviting your partner is really simple. Still, it may take some practice.

Warning: Trying this with people you are not in sync with can open you up to all sorts of painful lessons. The flow of energy can be very destabilizing if done at a depth either people are not ready to experience.

  • Focus on your breath. Allow everything else in your mind to drift by without judgement.
  • Relax. Physical tension blocks most communication. Relax as and be aware of the state of tension and lack of tension in your body.
  • Feel your energy flowing using whatever sense is most comfortable. Personally, I am quite visual and kinesthetic and am describing this process from that perspective.
  • Visualize you and your Twin’s heart energy and chakra as one energy system. Be aware of and see the interweaving and oneness of you and your Twin’s heart energy.
  • Intuitively feel yourself create a space for your TF. This space is an intuitive sense and will have the quality of drawing them to you.
  • Hold the space, the feelings, and the intention without expectation.
  • Snuggle up!

The fundamental idea of this meditation is in the invitation. This approach is quite receptive, very yin. I found a yang approach of projecting my energy wasn’t nearly as productive as making an invitation. Energy has been more effective worked with instead of commanded. Everything happens in my heart work space.

I use a similar process when I do energy work. Whatever level I am working with the idea is to make an invitation. Often, something does happen. I am intentionally not imposing my will so the results can be unexpected. Which is okay. Be unattached to results. Hold the space.

Why does this meditation work?

First, with a Twin Flame you already have a natural connection. You are in sync on all levels. Vibrations match for you two. Anything energetic work related is much simpler between you and your TF.

Of course, unresolved issues can get in the way. Anything that causes tension for an individual has the potential of reducing the effectiveness of your intention. Also, mental distractions or diverted attention are very effective at shutting down the awareness of the connection and the energy flowing.

Second as I described above the act of inviting can be very powerful. Creating a vacuum for the other to fill is very effective. A pushing force creates a reactive push against. Push your intent and you risk a push against your intent. Guide energy, attract energy, hold space for energy.

Third, related to the first point, you are of the same soul as your twin. Yes, one is masculine and one is feminine. The most natural partner for either to flow energy and intention with is their original complement. You are one, like two eyes share the same body. One sees from the feminine perspective. The other from the masculine perspective. As one.

You are meant to dance together. As one.


What Happens When You Meet Your Twin Flame

First Date

Towards the end of the evening on our first date we were sitting in a diner. I had my arm around her. She had her head on my chest. The waitress was concerned and asked if I wanted her to call a cab. The intoxication she was witnessing though wasn’t from alcohol.  We are still Twin Flame drunk three and a half years later.

More than a soul mate. More than a karmic partner. Many people think of Twin Flames as the two halves of a soul. Sometimes Twin Flames are romantic partners though this is not required. They can be family members or friends,  same sex or opposite sex, for example.

After meeting my Twin Flame I would refine this idea of being halves of the same soul a bit. She is my perfect soul mirror. From the moment we met she has reflected back to me my deepest aspects.

The short answer to what happens when you meet is there is a knowing. A deep, scary knowing. You may not even want to admit you feel this knowing at first. Feeling safe and finally found home and knowing your world has changed forever.


Nothing in me can remain hidden from her. Mentally and emotionally we always know each others thoughts and states immediately. Often times down to the words being thought.

This level of knowing can be very intense! We’ve shared this connection from the beginning. The accuracy of our perception was pretty good at first and only getting more clear.  On another level though my deepest wounds and darkest shadows have been front and center from our first date.

This intensity also nearly broke us apart.

With natural and nearly complete transparency between us boundaries are very difficult to maintain. When that energy hits a raw nerve or decades old wound watch out. Thankfully, those wounds and raw nerves heal. Communication skills are very helpful.  As is a good therapist!

Spiritual Growth

Meeting each other has been about much more than healing old wounds. Thankfully.  This level of relating really can be intense! The natural energy between us is unbelievable.

We feel like we are on an accelerated growth path. Our natural energy patterns reinforce each other expanding our learning and growth. Whether during our sexual connection, while dancing, or just talking between the two of us we have to be aware of the natural desire to expand with each other energetically.

One way I see us in our natural state is as a helix continuously expanding spiraling around each other at higher and higher frequencies of vibration. Being in the physical world though keeps us grounded and able to function with the rest of the world.  If nothing else our physical need for sleep limits how many hours we can dance, talk, laugh or fight (rarely) with each other.

This grounding has certainly been helpful in my growth. Exploring the contrasting state between grounding and expanding states helps me understand both better. They provide reference points and insights for each other.

So back to the original question. What happens when you meet your Twin Flame?  Exactly what you need for maximum growth.

Social Brain Hacks: Improve Your Social Life by Sharing Your Passion!

Social Brain Hack: Borrowing States of Mind

After getting divorced and many, many years of spiritual research and exploration I found myself in a strange place. I had lost my innate gregariousness. How the heck do I meet people and have a social life? While you can kind of get away with being a hermit after 20 years of marriage, I wasn’t much fun as a bachelor.

You may have read in my last experiment regarding talking to strangers every day for thirty days. While I did find that it wasn’t very difficult to say hi, I was definitely not creating a meaningful connection. How to deeply engage with strangers at will in any setting was still eluding me.

What I find funny about this is the kind of situations I don’t find intimidating. Airplanes are no problem, I grew up boating on rough water, know what a bullet sounds like when it’s only feet away from my head, and I never feel lost in the woods when I wander off-trail.

Something else that no longer intimidates me (this used to be a fantastically huge problem) is asking women to dance. Well, tango anyways. The more attraction I felt for a woman the worse it would be.

This week though everything changed and I finally pulled it together.

Last weekend, I started wondering what would happen if I could get into the tango mindset in other parts of my life? How would it work to feel the confidence I have in asking a lady to dance a tanda only be talking with a stranger at the dentist office? I actually did this yesterday at the dentist office. Had a nice almost hour long chat with the receptionist while the kids were getting their teeth cleaned. She didn’t get much work done but I did learn people in Bellingham have a distinct accent. She was from Houston and still sounded Texan.

What I finally came to was that what I was looking for went beyond confidence. What was the secret ingredient? Passion! Passion for the dance was the real key. What I feel for and through tango can be used to fuel passion and aliveness in my life in general. That aliveness draws people to you, making connecting with them easy and natural. While the experiment is just starting I’m definitely seeing changes in my social skills.

Of course, life has been quietly showing me the answer for a while now. My last girlfriend told me she had found that passion for tango attractive when we first met at a party. In fact, she later reached out to me to see if there might be a connection between us. It wasn’t about the tango, though, it was about the energy and passion.

For some reason I didn’t catch on at the time. People are looking for that feeling of aliveness. Choose to find it in your own life. Let the energy permeate your being and live through you. People will find you.

Happiness and Being Enough

Facebook is asking me “What’s on my mind?”

This spring I realized I was pushing people in my life away or creating a distance.


Because I was judging myself with standards and criteria given to me and not meeting those expectations. From finances to being a father and all the other things that have to do with the present circumstances of my life. Ironically, I wouldn’t judge my friends by those standards. Just myself.

Then one day not that long ago I was pulling up to a stop sign. And I was thinking about one day needing to replace the car. From that thought a domino of thoughts toppled into my consciousness. All things that kind of sucked in life at the moment.

The last domino toppled as I came to a stop at the intersection. In that moment I could feel inside myself this core of happiness. None of the worries really mattered. No matter what my life was or wasn’t I was at my core happy.

Someday I’ll be in a wonderful relationship, my kids will get past their teen years, my body will heal, my business and financial life will be fine, and I’ll even be able to retire my car. And even if nothing changes, who I am in the moment is still enough.

Day 2 of the Talking to Strangers 30 Day Challenge

After yesterday one thing was clear.  I don’t have a problem saying hi to strangers.  Also, talking with people in a familiar social context is usually not too much of a problem.  It’s the complete stranger in a random encounter that is the tough one for me.

Especially, if the stranger is a woman.  Which is one of the reasons online dating didn’t work well for me.  Too many words and lots of pressure with a high probability of brain-lock in a first meeting.  While I’m not really modifying the terms of my 30 Day Challenge, any initiation of conversation with any stranger still counts, I am intending for more than just a hello, now.

And today was a perfect example of taking this challenge to another level!!  Two youngish women at the beach came in from kayaking.  I said hi, one of them offered me a beer, and I said no thanks. For the purposes of the challenge, I would say my goal for the day was met.

A few minutes later I went swimming.  When I got back to shore I struck up a conversation that went on for 20 minutes or so.  We talked about all sorts of things, wine, dementia, and consciousness.  Very cool.  A definite win!

The keys to this little victory?

  • Finding something in common to talk about.  In this case, the beach, and Bellingham.
  • Letting go of caring too much about how I speak.  I find I use words based on how they feel instead of their definitions.  Which can be very confusing to people.  Non-verbal connection with someone is very important to me.  I find I trust that more than verbal or intellectual connection.
  • Knowing I’m enough.  Which I’ll talk about in my next post!  It’s a bit more subtle a concept than I’ve come across in the books and articles on self-worth.

Not having any expectation makes a huge difference.  I really think I’ve made a lot more progress over the last couple of years than I realize.  And tango had a lot to do with it.  The next 30 days may be as much about practicing what I have already developed than anything.  Learning to drop fear and other ego related baggage is key.  I can see the next place to take this after some practice is to be more willing to let my sense of humor come out.

Oh and the water was so nice today!  I really need to remember to take some pictures for you.

Talking to Strangers 30 Day Challenge

I want to share a 30 day challenge I’m going to embark on in the morning.  Talk with one stranger a day for 30 days.  I found the idea at while looking for ways to be more comfortable talking with women.   I’m getting much better but feel I’ve got a ways to go.

I’ve already made some progress by learning to dance.  Talk about overcoming fear (sans alcohol even!)  Learning Argentine Tango was what I decided to do to get a handle on the dancing thing.  And it worked pretty well.  I still have a lot to learn when it comes to tango but I’m finding I’m pretty comfortable when it comes to chatting at milongas.  Asking a women out for a date or just to get together, not so much.  Dance with her?  Sure!  Coffee or drinks? <sigh>

I’ll let you know how it goes!  In the meantime, check out the post at the link above and browse his site, too.  He’s got some pretty good articles.

Update after 1 day:

Even after a day I can see it’s pretty obvious I’ve made progress over the last couple of years.  It’s not so much saying hi to random strangers as the social context and allowing conversation to flow.  In some situations it’s not a problem in others my tongue is tied in knots.

The difference between when things get gummed up and when they flow is ego.  Just keep practicing letting it flow.  Getting too attached to wanting to make a good impression is a killer.  When I’m not concerned about what I’m saying everything works well.  Seeing as few people actually remember what you say anyway you might as well not get too uptight.  They remember how you make them feel not the words you used to create the feeling.

Dance of The Sacred Connection, Birth of a Poem

Some thoughts and images as a poem is being born:

The two spent the day wandering the forest.

Following old forgotten paths used for generations by creatures of all kinds, in time, the pair found themselves on a quiet sand beach.

Swimming in the cool water a warm summer rain began to fall.

With waves lapping at their feet the raindrops composed nature’s tanda on their bare skin.

Rivulets traced their embrace as they began to dance.

Overcoming Stage Fright, Reading My Own Poetry in Public for the First Time, and Talking with Women

Across an ocean in a foreign land,
Words of the guru fell into the man’s hand.

Mystery cried for him in the darkness,
Her tears, eons old, waiting for him to wake.

Feeling her warmth night after night,
Vulnerability was her power.

He would eventually learn.

Love and light is a perilous path,
Darkness may kill you but it’s the Mystery you seek.

While She grinds beneath you urging you on,
Slowly destroying you so you may be born.

–Me 🙂

Part I – First Poetry Reading

Last night was Poetry Night in Bellingham and I read my own work for the first time. Second poet in the second set if you wish to listen to the podcast. I haven’t checked to see if I am in the recording, yet. If you listen to the podcast and I am on it, please let me know as I’m avoiding listening to myself speak.

Yep, bright lights, a stage, a microphone, and an audience of very good poets. My heart was pounding and my voice trembled when I got up on stage to introduce this poem, written mid December 2011. How good the poem is I have no idea. My goals were to be on stage, share something I created, and feel my voice project from my heart as I spoke.

How did it feel when I was done? I felt like I could get right back up there! In retrospect, the nervous feeling was a mixture of excitement and not really all that much fear. Given I didn’t feel like throwing up before hand, really, the reading went very well. It may have helped that I had not planned on reading when I decided to go to poetry night. I brought my notebook to do some writing before the show. A friend persuaded me to give it a go.

Part II – Talking with Women

Afterward, the poets meet up at the Copperhog for beer and great conversation. This is where I got my second chance to deal with fear and insecurity. Between massive stress, depression, divorce, general instability in my life, and spending so much time doing the introspective work over the last 5 years, my social skills have really atrophied. Like in the toilet. Really.

Anyway, a charming, attractive woman I had never met before sat down next to me at the Copperhog. She had been at poetry night last night. I have no idea if she is in a relationship or not and it really makes no difference. The fact is, she’s the type who can make my brain shut down. Immediately following said shutdown, typically an awkward silence builds as I run screaming into myself.

Not last night though! While I still have a ways to go, I don’t feel I did terribly during the conversation last night! Woohoo! I’m relearning! Eventually, I may even be able to be the goofy smart-ass in public that I am with my kids and sisters in private.

What does this have to do with you?

The mind can get in the way of the heart. We learn to control the mind so we can experience what it is to live by our hearts. The mind is a tool. The heart is supposed to be in charge. Fear and insecurity come from the ego which lives in the mind.

Love comes from the heart. These days we spend most of our time living from the mind with no balance from the heart. Your heart whispers to you. When you quiet your mind you will be able to hear its message. Once you learn to listen to your heart it’s time to learn how to act without fear, according to its guidance. Take action in the world you were born into, as well as the inner worlds. Act with balance and ease.

Find your edges. Those place you fear to get to close to in life that are holding you back. Explore them. Your heart is waiting for you to feel the joy of being free of the limitations of the ego.

Loving Yourself and Living Up to Your Potential

Below is a post I made this morning on my Facebook account:

Don’t let other people make you feel bad about yourself because you don’t meet their expectations of what you could be. Where ever you are in life right now is exactly where you need to be in this moment. You can not help but be growing and learning constantly. Accept and love yourself. The rest will unfold naturally as you learn to balance allowance and action.

It’s okay if you are not expressing what other people see as your potential. You don’t have any obligations to live up to their expectations of  your potential.  If you want change in your life you can have it. The process of learning to make the change itself is an accomplishment in itself! If it takes you fifty years then it takes you fifty years. If it takes you fifty lifetimes then it takes you fifty lifetimes!

Buying into other people’s judgments about your life, though, can slow you down. You can spend your years building a life that you love or one that you hate.  You will learn a lot either way.  For myself, I’ve found choosing Love is a lot more fun.

Learning to Love and Accept yourself as you are in this very moment is key. And it can feel very frustrating and slow and lonely and all sorts of other feelings. Resisting any feeling, though, just makes it stronger. Allow those feelings to pass through you without judgment. Allow life to express itself through you. As you do, you’ll learn to act within Allowance. Your life will flow and unfold with perfect timing and joy.